Menstruation is that thing we typically wish was not coming, yet can feel anxious, even desperate about when it’s late. Far from cherishing its arrival, many women feel, at most, an oh-so-sweet relief as the monthly build-up of tension releases. For others, it’s the relief of a different kind, confirmation that there is no unplanned pregnancy.
At best, women tend to live in tolerance of what is often seen as a messy, unwelcome and inconvenient biological process. Subsequently, the demand for avoiding menstruation altogether has grown. Albeit in extreme cases, it is disturbing to see some medical practitioners (not only male) propagating the idea that periods are dispensable and promoting medical intervention to avoid them long term.
Interestingly, over recent decades the appendix, once considered a throwaway organ, has been linked to important immune and gut functions. The same has occurred with the spleen. Known more for its metaphorical references than its function, it is now recognised as playing a significant role in our immune system.
Not fully understanding something should not mean we dismiss it as expendable. There is far more to a woman’s menstrual cycle than we currently realise. Let’s begin with cycles.
We undeniably live in cycles. They are literally all around us. The menstrual cycle is a monthly one, give or take. Other grand-scale cycles include the rotation of the earth on its axis, just shy of 24 hours, and the earth’s rotation around the sun, a fraction over 365 days.
Here lies the seed of liberation for many women who suffer with menstrual symptoms. Every single returning month, you get to the opportunity to have another go at the quality in which you live each day of the month.
As with our body in general, a woman’s period is impacted by how she lives. Sounds obvious, yet it still blows me away how this is not a central tenet in our everyday conversation on menstruation, let alone our body.
We live in our body 24/7, and with even the most basic, honest reflection, the fact that the way we live impacts our body is not news to any of us.
It is important to acknowledge that some conditions do require medical attention. This is not in question. Yet the opportunity that cycles offer remains just as relevant. For example, rather than repeatedly avoiding professional support, as a woman may have done in previous months, choosing to consult a medical practitioner represents a change in how she lives. That change alone can influence the body and overall wellbeing. It may release some pent-up fears and anxiety, and in turn impact how she experiences her next period.
Recently, I was discussing menstruation with a teenager who matter-of-factly referred to the link between the intensity of her period and the level of conflict in her family home. I was struck by the way she did not focus on blaming family, but instead noticed how her responses to the situation influenced how much period pain she subsequently experienced.
Sometimes she could be more settled in response to family arguments, other times she was tired or stressed already, so had less capacity to hold herself steady. Her fuse felt shorter and she reacted with more anger.
She reported that the more reactive she got during the month, the more her period hurt at the end of that month. During periods of family intensity, such as when her parents were going through an acrimonious separation, she used to retreat and swallow her emotions. She found her periods during this time were some of the worst she’d ever experienced.
We are clearly discarding far more than the lining of our wombs during menstruation.
The way a woman feels before, during and post her period is testament to this. It is not just the tangible material we can see, but it is also the emotions we absorb, the hurts we bury, the resentments we carry. These may not be visible to the eye, or palpable to the touch, but they can certainly be felt.
Think of your period as a stop moment. A tangible and truthful reflection of how you lived the month preceding.
Whether you experience a mild ache, a period that felt like a car crash, or that it is completely absent, consider asking yourself each month:
- Where did I react?
- What did I avoid?
- Where did I delay doing something I knew needed to be done, or said?
- What am I still holding onto?
- What did I hold back from expressing?
- What did I take personally?
- What did I do that made me go hard or protected?
- What worked last month, what didn’t, and how am I going to move differently next month?
In this way, your period can become a welcome point of reflection. Something grander than any wearable health technology, because you are in direct communication with your body.
One of the collateral benefits of this shift is that, through developing a more intimate relationship with your body, trust deepens. Trust in the body, and trust in yourself. This supports a stronger sense of presence and confidence, and in turn allows for greater transparency and ease in intimate relationships with others.
Sara Williams writes with the understanding that knowledge is not owned; when its source is Ageless Wisdom, it is accessible to and known by all. These reflections are drawn from therapeutic work, themes that arise across many client sessions and life in general. All identifying details are removed, and confidentiality is always protected.
